If you think that only snakes and representatives of the order of arthropods like spiders and scorpions can be poisonous, then you are mistaken. Among people there are also toxic people or in other words - energy vampires.
However, the good news is that psychologists have identified a number of signs by which you can identify a person from the category of “neither friend nor enemy”.
One gate play. If you notice that in friendships you are the only one who provides support in difficult situations, while your friend is in no hurry to help you if necessary, then this is a clear defect in your friendship. Trusted friends are supportive and interested in each other's lives in equal measure.
Cancellation is not accepted. Be sure that you are only friends for personal interests if the friend does not accept your “no”. A true friend will be understanding if you cannot help for whatever reason, while a “toxic” person will be offended.
Not for joy. It is worth overestimating friendships if your successes and happy events get you annoyed or dry “Well, ok!”. Whereas a friend gives out a storm of emotions for failures.
Squeezed like a lemon. If communication with a person drains you emotionally, and you feel exhausted after each communication and confused, then you should listen to these signals.
Not healthy competition. If a “friend” competes with you, tries to be better than you in everything, thereby turning friendship into a constant competition, then such a relationship can hardly be called friendly.
They are waiting for sympathy. Toxic people are prone to constant whining and complaining about their hard life. Often they exaggerate their “sorrows” and “sufferings” in order to arouse pity and hear words of compassion.
Constant manipulation is perhaps the most obvious signal that it is time for you to end the friendship. Psychologists advise to listen to yourself and if you feel that you are being used, forced to do what you do not want, put pressure on your weaknesses and play on your feelings, then it is better to keep a distance with such a person.
If the above signs did not help in determining the toxicity of friendships, but there are doubts, then a survey should be conducted. Talk to your surroundings and get an outsider's perspective on your friendship. After all, people tend not to notice and take for granted, including a bad attitude towards themselves.
What to do with toxic friendships:
- Pause and rethink the relationship.
- Understand that an abusive friend is not a friend at all, but a person who used you.
- Expand your social circle and less often, or maybe stop talking altogether.
A true friend is a great blessing. The results of numerous studies show:
- if a person has a good friend at work, then he will work 7 times more productively.
- strong friendship has a positive effect on the physical and mental state.
- heart-to-heart conversations help to cope with stress and look at the situation from a different angle.
Resources: marieclaire.ru; harpersbazaar.kz; zen.yandex.ru/; 1gai.ru; medaboutme.ru; gurutest.ru.
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