Many of us were brought up to believe that shyness is a virtue, especially for girls. However, in real life, shyness often becomes a serious obstacle to personal growth and self-realization, hindering us in all areas of life.

What is shyness: a disadvantage or a defense mechanism?

Shyness is an emotional state characterized by a feeling of awkwardness, tension, and discomfort when interacting with other people. It is important to understand that shyness is not an innate defect, but rather a protective psychological reaction. It can both hinder a person and, in certain situations, protect him from excessive attention or potential danger.

Why do people become too shy?

Family upbringing: overprotection or, on the contrary, excessive criticism from parents can lead to the formation of self-doubt in a child. Constant comments, comparisons with other children suppress his personal initiative and lead to the emergence of a feeling of his own inferiority.

Negative social experiences: Traumatic situations experienced at school (such as being teased by peers or being publicly humiliated) can leave a person with a long-term fear of social interactions.

Low self-esteem: An internal lack of confidence in one's own importance and value often provokes a fear of being rejected or judged by others. A person is constantly afraid of appearing ridiculous, incompetent or a loser.

Psychological trauma: Serious stressful events such as parental divorce, frequent conflicts in the family, or the death of a loved one can form a persistent pattern of avoidant behavior in social contacts.

Individual character traits: an innate tendency towards introversion, increased sensitivity and emotionality can also increase a person’s predisposition to shyness.

How to stop being shy around people and become more confident?

Work on your self-esteem. Start by recognizing your own value and uniqueness. Make a list of your positive qualities, achievements, and talents. Remind yourself of your strengths every day and practice positive affirmations. Try keeping a special notebook where you write down your achievements at the end of each day, even the smallest ones.

Gradually expand your comfort zone: don’t try to change yourself radically in one day. Start small: try to have a short conversation with a shop assistant, smile at a stranger on the street, or leave a short comment in a social networking group. Every successful social contact is your small victory on the path to self-confidence.

Visualization technique: Before a difficult social situation (such as an important meeting or a meeting with strangers), mentally play out a successful scenario in your head. Imagine yourself as calm, confident, and approachable. Visualization helps reduce anxiety and set you up for a positive outcome.

Control of internal dialogue: pay attention to the negative thoughts that arise in your head and learn to transform them. Instead of “I won’t succeed,” tell yourself “I’ll try, and I’ll definitely succeed,” instead of “Nobody will understand me,” tell yourself “I’ll try to explain my point of view, and I’ll be heard.” Gradually change your internal attitude from criticism to support and approval.

Physical activity and confidence: Regular physical exercise not only improves physical fitness, but also increases self-esteem and promotes the production of endorphins, the hormones of happiness. Exercise helps you feel stronger and more confident, which undoubtedly affects your social behavior.

Professional Psychological Help: If shyness is so strong that it blocks your life and prevents you from moving forward, do not hesitate to seek help from a professional psychologist.

Remember that self-confidence is a skill that can and should be developed. Be patient with yourself, don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone, celebrate every small success and move forward towards your goal.

Resource: vfokuse.mail.ru