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This question worries many parents. Today, an abundance of goods and services has become the norm; it is so easy to give in to temptation and buy your child something expensive and fashionable. But is this always the right decision?
Psychologists believe that giving too many gifts is not worth it - it can turn into an obligation rather than a sign of attention. And it’s also impossible not to give at all - the child may decide that he is not worthy of gifts.
How to find balance?
Different ages - different approaches:
1-3 years:
At this age, children do not quite understand the meaning of gifts, but they appreciate attention. It is not necessary to give expensive toys, simple but interesting things are enough. It’s good to give emotions along with a gift - for example, playing with a new toy together.
4-7 years:
Children already understand the value of gifts. You can give more complex toys, educational games, books. Encourage children to share gifts with friends.
Gifts that should not be given to preschool children:
Begged by whims. If a child realizes that whims and whining are the surest way to get gifts, this can lead to manipulation of loved ones. A gift received in this way will not bring joy, but will only reinforce unwanted behavior.
Expensive, fashionable, but unnecessary. Until the age of 6, children do not realize the value of a gift. Fed up with expensive toys, a child can choose a simple toy and declare it his favorite. Consider how the gift matches the child's age, interests and needs.
8-12 years:
Older children are already able to choose their own gift. Don’t forget to have a dialogue about the gifts you want, discuss the options, their cost and practical value. Don't hide financial limitations from your children. Younger schoolchildren can and should already be told about the family budget.
Encourage children to give gifts to others - this teaches them generosity and caring for loved ones.
What gifts should you not give
Don't give gifts in an attempt to quell childhood boredom. This feeling is natural for children, even with many toys and gadgets.
Why you shouldn't give gifts out of boredom:
- does not solve the problem. Boredom may be caused by age or internal experiences, and not by a lack of toys.
- forms the wrong attitude. Gifts can become a crutch, discouraging the child from looking for other ways to cope with boredom.
- leads to satiety. Too many gifts can dull interest in new things, making boredom even worse.
Teenagers
As children enter adolescence, they increasingly strive for self-expression and self-identification. It becomes important for them to belong to a certain group and not stand out from their peers. This is also reflected in their requests for gifts, which increasingly have a status flavor: branded clothing and shoes, fashion accessories, tickets to popular events, the latest gadgets, trips abroad.
In this regard, it is important to develop clear agreements regarding gifts with the teenager: determine a budget, establish frequency, take into account interests.
4 mistakes when choosing gifts for children of any age:
1. Gifts as payment for achievements:
You should not “pay” with gifts for academic success, help around the house, or other achievements. This can cause the child to take them for granted rather than as a sign of love and care.
2. Gifts instead of attention:
You should not give gifts to “make up” for a lack of time or attention. Your presence and participation in his life is much more important to a child than material things.
3. Gifts “for yourself”:
You should not give children gifts that you would like to receive yourself. The gift should correspond to the interests and desires of the child, not yours.
4. Feeling guilty for an “inexpensive” gift:
Don't blame yourself for not being able to buy your child an expensive gift. The most important thing is attention and care, not the price of the gift.
P.S. Think back to your childhood. What gifts do you remember most? Were they expensive?
Resource: interneturok.ru
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